ESSAY TOPICS FOR ART HISTORY PAPERS
I WILL NEVER WRITE BECAUSE NO TEACHER
WOULD EVER ISSUE THE ASSIGNMENT, AND
I DON'T GO TO SCHOOL ANYMORE ANYWAY:
- If you could use magic to step inside any painting, which painting would it be, and why? Explain what it would feel like to pass through chosen portal.
- Imagine you are the Mona Lisa. Ambiguously describe what's going on in your head without actually letting anyone know.
- Go ahead and let yourself embrace your distaste towards postmodern sculpture and performance. Veil your energy and release your hatred in only 73 - 510 pages ( single-spaced, 9pt font ).
- Many of today's young artists prey upon each other. Discuss this phenomenon with as few curse words as possible.
- How few artists are true visionaries, and how many artists are true idiots? On average, how often do true visionaries make it through their ordeal without falling victim to true idiots?
- Explain what Joseph Beuys forgot to explain.
- What is the difference between an artist using religious iconography for the sake of humor and an artist who is completely overrun with dark spirit energy? Compare and contrast.
- Explain why you feel bad when you feel bad. Explain how this torment is more artistic than any of the art you produce. Then show your essay to your significant other.
- Women can never be real artists. Explain why you believe this.
Then explain why you're an asshole. Then I'll explain you getting your skull smashed open with an animal's jawbone.